


Maybe We're Fireproof

by quietlycrash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5360795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietlycrash/pseuds/quietlycrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The classic Harry and Louis love story including fake dating and evil management, with a twist: Harry is asexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe We're Fireproof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KiwiTattoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiTattoo/gifts).



> It was requested that this be as angsty as possible and I failed spectacularly at that. This is almost unbearably fluffy, but I can't even bring myself to apologize because I am a giant sap and I love fluff. I hope everyone enjoys reading this!

“I need to tell you something.” Harry whispers into Louis’s ear, trying not to wake the other boys. Liam will be mad that he’s up this late the night before the X Factor finale. 

“Harry? What? It’s the middle of the night.” Louis rolls over away from Harry and pulls the covers over his head. 

Harry pokes him in the back until he turns around again and grins widely to counter Louis’s glare. 

“What is so important that you are disturbing my beauty sleep?” Louis whispers back angrily. 

“Can we go somewhere else to talk about it?” Harry says and puts on his best puppy dog face. 

Louis sighs heavily but climbs out from under the covers anyway. He slips on his trainers and grabs a fleece blanket to wrap around his shoulders. He silently follows Harry out of the room and down the stairs. Harry slides open the glass door to the patio and then closes it again after Louis follows him outside. 

Louis sits on one of the brown adirondack chairs cross-legged so he can face Harry sitting on the other one. He wraps his red blanket tighter around his shoulders. “It’s freezing out here Harry, this better be worth it.” 

“Oh please, it’s not that cold. I can’t even see my breath.” Harry says, stretching out on the other chair. He huffs a laugh when he sees the glare that Louis gives him.

“Seriously, Styles. Spit it out.” Louis says. 

Harry takes a deep breath and stares up at the stars. This is it, his make or break moment. Louis knows him better than anyone else he’s ever met, and if Louis doesn’t accept this about him, then he doubts he’ll ever find anyone who will. He tries to see if he can find Orion’s belt up in the sky, maybe he could absorb some of his strength. Although, he doesn’t actually know why there is a constellation named after Orion.

He doesn’t look over at Louis. “I’m asexual.” The words sound extraordinarily loud in the silence of the night. 

“Okay.” Louis replies after a moment, and Harry chances a glance in his direction. The older boy is still sitting there watching Harry like he was before. The world still exists. 

“You’re fine with that?” Harry asks nervously, and now that he’s looked at Louis, he can’t take his eyes away. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Louis asks and his brow furrows like he genuinely can’t imagine caring about this. 

Harry laughs shakily. “Because I’m broken?” He phrases it like a question and laughs while he says it, so that Louis doesn’t take this too seriously. 

“What?” Louis asks sharply, and Harry feels a fresh pang of nerves. “You’re not broken, Harry. Do you hear me? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and if anyone ever tries to tell you there is, I will personally fight them.” 

Harry feels the nerves unravel as quickly as they appeared, and they melt into a soft cloud of butterflies in his stomach. He smiles softly. He should have known that Louis would have his back with this. Louis is the best friend he’s ever had, and he’s only known him for a few months. “You might have to fight a lot of people if we win this competition, then.” 

“I will fight every single person in the entire world if I have to.” Louis says and smiles back at Harry.

Harry lets himself relax a fraction and turns to smile back up at the stars. Maybe he didn’t need that much strength after all. He sits in silence with Louis for a few minutes. One of his favourite things about their friendship is that they can be comfortable with each other even when they’re not talking. 

“Thank you for telling me.” Louis says eventually, and Harry turns his head to smile back at the older boy. 

“Thank you for accepting me.” Harry says sincerely and ducks his head to play with his curls so he doesn’t have to see Louis’s face. 

“I’ll always accept you.” Louis says. Harry smiles into his chest and tries to stop the butterflies that have taken residence in his heart. “Let’s go inside though. If Liam knows we were awake at this time of night, we’re as good as dead.” 

“Okay.” Harry says, still smiling. He stands first and extends a hand to Louis to help him up. 

~~~~~

“Do any of you have anyone special back home? Any special ladies?” The interviewer asks and tugs on a stray blonde strand of hair. She smiles wide, and Harry thinks absently that she must get her teeth whitened. 

“Yes, I’ve got a girlfriend.” Liam jumps in, smiling his trademark grin. His eyes scrunch up and his cheek dimple appears and the interviewers usually swoon. This one doesn’t though, and Harry gets a little nervous. She seems determined to get something from them, and Harry doesn’t really want to find out what it is.

“What’s her name?” She asks, focusing on Liam. 

“Danielle.” Niall jumps in with a cackle. “We know all about her, Liam never shuts up about what she did last week or what their next date will be.” He laughs again, as loud as ever. 

“Do you guys share everything about your relationships with each other, then?” The interviewer asks, and Harry can hear something in her voice that hints at a loaded question, but he can’t see where she’s going with this. 

Zayn shrugs. “I guess so.” Harry chances a glance at Louis, who rolls his eyes at Harry when he catches him looking. Harry snickers quietly but tries to mask it as a cough.

“Who is the dirtiest bandmate then?” The interviewer asks, and Harry’s smile drops off of his face. His stomach feels like it has hardened into lead. 

There’s a heavy silence when no one answers the question. Harry can’t believe she even had the nerve to ask them this. He stares at the carpeted floor and hopes desperately that somehow he will time travel to literally any other point in time. 

“Oh, it’s for sure Harry.” Louis says, and Harry panics at first before he hears the undercurrent of sarcasm in his best friend’s voice. Where could he be going with this? “I mean, god, some of the stuff I’ve seen has scarred me.” 

Harry’s hands are shaking in his lap. He tries to ignore it, but he really hopes Louis takes this somewhere else soon. Louis should know that Harry is uncomfortable talking about this stuff. 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” The interviewer asks eagerly.

Louis grabs Harry’s knee under the table where they’re sitting and squeezes gently as if to reassure him that everything will be fine. “Well one time, he left a mug of milky tea in the sink while we were on tour for three months. You should have seen the mold when we came back. Or smelled it actually. And then another time, I went into his room in our flat, and I swear to you I couldn’t see a square inch of the floor. He left his clothes everywhere, just willing me to step on them.” 

Harry smiles shakily when Louis finishes talking and turns his head to smile brightly at his best friend. Louis grins back and presses his thumbs up into Harry’s leg. Harry feels butterflies erupt in his stomach at the use of their secret signal and hides his smile in his curls. He’s sure his emotions can be read on his face, and he doesn’t want Louis to feel burdened by Harry’s pesky little crush on him. 

Niall is cackling in the corner. “That’s not even true! Those are all things that you’ve done, Louis!” He can’t stop laughing as he talks, and even Liam and Zayn have started giggling. 

“How dare you!” Louis gasps, clutching a hand to his chest like he has just been gravely insulted. 

“That’s not even the worst stuff you’ve done, either.” Liam says. “One time I found a stash of your dirty, sweaty socks under one of the bunks in the bus.” 

“That can’t have been Louis, he doesn’t wear socks.” Zayn points out. 

“Yeah, that was me. Sorry, lads.” Niall says, still grinning. 

“You are all disgusting.” Liam says, crossing his arms. 

Harry feels his hands steady now that the subject has changed. He’s so thankful for his best friend. “Hey, I help you clean sometimes.” He points out. 

“That’s true. Harry is allowed to remain in the band, the rest of you are all fired.” Liam says, still pretending to be angry. 

Harry barks out a laugh and immediately claps a hand over his mouth. 

“That’s okay, we’ll just start another band. It will be called The Other Direction.” Louis says, and all the boys erupt into laughter again.

“Okay! That’s all the time we have!” The interviewer says, clearly unhappy with the direction the interview has taken. “Say goodbye to the cameras!”

The boys all wave at the cameras with wide smiles on their faces and laugh again when the director says cut. The interviewer storms out of the door without another word, and Harry feels a pang of guilt for ruining her interview before he remembers why they did it in the first place. 

“How are you doing, curly?” Louis says, pulling on one of Harry’s curls. 

“I’m okay. Thanks for doing that.” Harry says, grabbing Louis’s hand away from his head and holding it in his own. When he looks up at Louis’s face, it seems like his cheeks are tinged pink, but Harry must be imagining it. Wishful thinking, and all that.

“No problem. We all know how nasty you are, after all.” Louis snickers, and Harry can’t help but laugh with him. 

“I can’t believe there are people who believe I’m hooking up with fans all the time.” Harry replies, shaking his head. 

“Me neither, there’s no way you’d be smooth enough to pull that off. Looks can only take you so far.” Louis jokes, swinging their clasped hands back and forth. 

“Are you guys talking about Harry supposedly hooking up with 412 people in the past year?” Niall cuts in, throwing an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Yeah, right. Pulling people is way too much effort for you, you always go home to watch TV instead.” 

“You’re not wrong.” Harry laughs. 

“We would accept you even if you did sleep with 412 people though. You all accept me even with my stash of sweaty socks, so I am in no place to judge.” 

Harry barks out a laugh. “Thanks, Niall. I’m glad you have my back.” 

“Come on guys, it’s time to go.” Paul shouts from across the room in his “I mean business” voice. 

Niall drops his arm from Harry’s shoulder and scampers across the room to join Liam and Zayn as they walk out of the door. Harry turns to follow Niall and smiles when he feels Louis’s arm sneak around his waist. He turns to smile at his best friend again. 

“I’m so glad I have you.” He whispers and leans his head against Louis’s shoulder. 

“I’m glad I have you too, curly.”

~~~~~

“I cannot wait for this break.” Zayn flops down on the couch in the green room next to Harry, laying his tattooed arm over his eyes. 

“Me neither, I’m going to hang out with my sisters and force them all to gossip about each other with me.” Louis agrees from the other corner of the room where he is playing what seems to be poker with Niall and Liam. “Or at least as long as I can stand to hear about their crushes.” 

“So what, like one day then?” Liam jokes and then ups his bet. 

“Yeah, probably. Maybe I’ll go visit Harry’s house then?” 

Harry hums noncommittally and continues to scroll through his mentions on twitter. He’s not even sure he’s going to be at home for all that long. He’s planning to come out to his mum and sister as asexual when he gets home, and he knows that it’s a hard identity for people to handle sometimes. Logically, he knows his family will love him no matter what, but he’s still worried. He chews at his lip nervously before he realizes that he’s been silent for long enough that it’s awkward. 

“Or not…” Louis says, and Harry can picture his raised eyebrows even though he refuses to lift his gaze from his phone. 

“I’m not sure what my plans are yet.” Harry says and pauses for another moment. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” He walks out then, without checking his bandmates’ reactions. Once he gets to the bathroom, he closes his eyes and sighs and then rests his head against the cold tile of the bathroom walls. He stands there for a few minutes trying to forget that he exists before he hears the door swing open gently. 

“Hey.” Louis says softly from behind him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “What’s up with you?” 

Harry sighs heavily and turns around to face his best friend. He shrugs and tries to swallow down the lump in his throat that threatens to turn into tears. “I was just planning to tell my mum and Gemma that… you know.” He says, eyes trained on the ground. Louis’s feet are so much smaller than his. He never noticed that before. 

“Really?” Louis asks, and he sounds surprised. Harry feels his heart sink for a moment before Louis continues. “I’m so proud of you!” He sounds genuinely excited, and Harry dares to look him in the eyes. Louis is smiling so hard at him that his eyes seem to be sparkling, and Harry can’t help but smile back so widely that his cheeks hurt before Louis pulls him into a hug. 

“You don’t think they’ll be upset with me?” Harry asks, his mouth pressed into the shoulder of Louis’s t-shirt. 

“Of course not. They will always love you, you’re impossible not to love. And even if they were upset, which they won’t be, then I would personally fight them until they saw sense. I promised you that I would fight every single person in the world if I needed to, remember?” 

Harry laughs into his best friend’s shirt and then pulls back to smile at him again. “Thank you. You always know what to say.” 

~~~~~~

“We need to discuss something important today.” Sara from their team says. She’s sitting across from a long wooden conference table, her perfectly manicured red nails resting on the sleek table in front of her. 

“What is it?” Liam asks, always the leader in their meetings with management. 

“It mostly pertains to Harry and Louis. I’m sure you guys are familiar with the rumour that you two are dating.” She pauses and quirks a sculpted eyebrow as if to check that they are in fact aware of that rumour, as if they had any way not to be. 

The boys all nod together, except Niall. They’ve delegated him with the task of reading the latest legal documents that they have to sign, to make sure that they’re not agreeing to anything too outlandish. He’s the most focused of the group, and he’s chewing on the end of the pen they’ve provided him with while he reads the fresh manila folder of documents.

“We’ve done some research with focus groups over the past few months, and we have concluded that the image of Harry sleeping with many women sells better than the image of the two of you dating. So, we think that we should reduce the public image of your relationship together as the release date of the next album approaches.” 

“What?” Zayn spits out, and Harry can practically see the steam coming out of his ears. Zayn doesn’t usually get angry, but when he does it’s terrifying. “That’s so horrible, do you have any idea how homophobic you sound?”

“Yes, I do, actually.” Sara starts to say something else, but Louis cuts in.

“What do you need me to do?” Louis asks, and Harry whips his head around to stare at him. Louis is staring directly at Sara, as if challenging her. 

“Louis, what-?” Harry starts to ask, but Louis shushes him with a hand on his leg. Harry glances down and sees their secret hand signal, and he feels his heart start to slow. He hadn’t even realized how panicked he was, but Louis’s gesture always calms him down. 

“Well, we were initially hoping that we could set Harry up with someone…” Sara trails off when she sees Louis’s hardened glare. Harry smiles a small grin at his hands in his lap. Louis will always protect him. “But I suppose we could achieve some of the same benefits if you dated someone else publicly, as well.” She taps her crimson nails against the table again, nervously. 

“Okay.” Louis declares, and Harry feels his smile fall off of his face again. He knows that Louis probably won’t ever have the same feelings that Harry does, but he’s never had to deal with Louis being in a relationship before. “I’ve already got someone who can do it.” 

“Oh, really?” Sara asks and takes a sip of coffee from her plain white mug to mask her surprise. 

“Yeah, her name is Eleanor. We met a couple months ago through Harry, actually. I’ve been meaning to ask her out on a date, so this can work for everyone, right?” Louis is still staring determinedly forward, and Harry realizes that Louis is avoiding making eye contact with him. 

“Okay, well if you want to date her, then I guess we don’t have any paperwork to do on that front. However, I think that we should get in writing that you and Harry will try to decrease the amount of time that you spend touching each other in public. It’s just not good for sales.” Sara leans forward and grabs a fresh piece of paper and a pen, presumably to draft a new contract. 

Harry feels his stomach erupt into butterflies, he doesn’t want to be forced to stop touching his best friend. That doesn’t make sense, he can’t live without Louis. 

“No, we can’t do that.” He blurts out. He feels Louis turn to look at him for the first time during the meeting, but he keeps his gaze locked on Sara. “We can agree to try to stop touching each other in public as much, but we won’t sign a contract.” He tries to sound strong, but he thinks his voice wavers at the end.

“I agree. That crosses the line.” Liam says, and Harry feels his heart clench at his bandmate’s show of solidarity. Liam doesn’t always understand him, but he always has his back. 

“Okay…” Sara slowly slides the paper away from her again. “We can let it go as an informal agreement for now, but if things don’t go well, then we’ll have to revisit this discussion at a later date.” She finishes, and it’s clear that the conversation is over. They all sit there silently for a few minutes, waiting for Niall to finish reading the legal documents. 

“They look fine.” Niall announces, already handing out the sheets for them to sign. Harry scratches his signature quickly on all the papers and then gets up to leave before any of the others finish. 

He walks outside into the biting March air and immediately starts shivering. He wishes he had a coat and watches his breath swirl in front of him. It’s only a few minutes before Zayn comes to join him outside. He slides his favorite leather jacket over Harry’s shoulders, and Harry mumbles a quiet thanks as Zayn lights his cigarette.

Zayn just stands there silently, like he’s waiting for Harry to spill his guts. Harry huffs agitatedly. He’s silent for a few more minutes, watching the clouds of his exhales mix with the smoke from Zayn’s cigarette. 

“I just.” Harry starts, and then has to cut himself off before his voice cracks. “I didn’t even know he was interested in anyone, you know? I thought like maybe, if he was, it would be me, but. I mean, why would it be?” Harry’s breaths start coming faster, and embarrassingly, his eyes start to tear up. 

Zayn drops his cigarette into the snow and squashes it with his boot. He wraps his arms around Harry in a firm hug that smells like home. Harry sighs heavily into Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn is the best hugger. “You’re the best hugger.” He announces, and Zayn chuckles and just clutches him tighter. 

“It should be you.” Zayn whispers into his ear, and Harry feels tears prickle at his eyes again. “He’ll realize that in time.” 

“Okay.” Harry whispers back, and closes his eyes against the tears that threaten to fall. Zayn might think differently if he knew Harry’s secret, but it still is nice to hear that Zayn is on his side. 

~~~~~~

Harry loves Texas. It is truly an amazing state. Almost better than liquid. Ha. He grabs an armful of apples from the fruit basket in the lobby of the hotel and runs after Louis into the elevator. Louis is armed with several bunches of grapes, and Harry is out of breath from running away from Liam. They started a fruit fight on the bus that has slowly traveled into the hotel.

“Let’s get Zayn when we get upstairs.” Louis suggests while the elevator slowly takes them to the twenty-first floor.

Harry barks out a laugh. Zayn will be so angry. “Brilliant idea.” He says, and takes a few deep breaths before the elevator beeps to announce that they’ve reached their destination. 

Louis bolts out of the doors as soon as they open, and Harry takes off after him. He drops an apple in the hallway as they race towards Zayn’s room, and he can’t catch a breath from all the running and laughing. 

Louis stops and shushes Harry as they stand outside Zayn’s door and then knocks on it briskly. Zayn pulls open the door and before he realizes that they’re not room service, it’s too late, and Louis is pelting grapes at Zayn’s head.

“Ah! Stop! Stop!” Zayn yells, but he’s laughing even as he cowers on his bed with his arms over his head. Harry gently tosses an apple at Zayn’s stomach, and he lets out an “oof!” 

“That was weak, Harry.” Louis says. He looks so disappointed, and Harry can’t stop laughing. He’s standing there smiling at Louis with stars in his eyes for a moment too long, and he gets hit in the head with one of Zayn’s pillows. 

“Hey!” He shouts at Zayn, who is rolling around on his bed clutching his stomach with laughter. “Help me, Louis!” He shouts.

“Okay, hop on!” Louis crouches down, and Harry latches onto his back for a piggyback ride and they run out of Zayn’s room to the safety of the hallway, only to be bombarded by Liam and Niall throwing orange and banana peels at them. 

“Nooooooooo!” Louis shrieks, and collapses to the ground with Harry still on his back. Harry’s eyes are scrunched up in mirth, and he can barely get a breath in from where he is lying tangled with Louis in the carpeted hallway. 

“That’s- What - You - Get!” Liam says, punctuating each word with another orange peel whipped at their heads. 

Harry doesn’t think he’s ever been happier than he is with his four boys, and he can’t stop smiling. He’s so grateful for all of them, even when they’re throwing smelly fruits at him.

~

His good mood from the fruit fight lasts all morning and through the interviews. The interviewers in Texas all have fun games, and Harry thinks his abs will probably be sore tomorrow from laughter. 

They’re in the middle of one interview right now, all five of them clumped together on one couch. One of Harry’s legs is on top of Louis next to him, and he has his arm wrapped around Zayn’s shoulders on the other side. 

Harry keeps touching his boys throughout the interview, slapping their knees when he’s laughing and playing with their hair to distract them when they get bored. He loves this job sometimes, he thinks. He loves being able to do this with his four best friends.

As the interview wraps up, someone from their management slips quietly into the back of the room. She whispers something into Paul’s ear, and he frowns but nods at her. Harry’s smile slides off of his face. Whatever this is, can’t be good. They all shout goodbye for the video, and the interviewer thanks them again before she leaves. 

Paul quickly herds the five of them back to the lobby to wait for the van to take them to the hotel. “Harry, Louis, Malia wants to talk to you before we head back. We’ve arranged another van to take you guys back in a few minutes.” 

Harry feels a pit of dread grow in his stomach like a parasite. He’s slightly nauseous, and when he makes eye contact with Louis, he doesn’t look much better. Louis has a grey, sickly pallor, and Harry is suddenly fiercely angry. They shouldn’t have to be scared like this, no matter what. He pulls Louis into a fierce hug, and he can hear Louis take a shaky breath against his shoulder. Harry squeezes his eyes shut against the fiery love he feels in his gut, replacing the hatred, or maybe just mixing with it.

“Oh, goodness.” Malia says from behind Louis. Harry opens his eyes and pulls out of the hug with Louis but keeps his arm around Louis’s shoulder. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Harry asks. He’s sure she can hear the edge in his voice, daring her to say something he doesn’t like. 

“The rumours about you two are getting out of hand. You’re too touchy in interviews, and people are forgetting about Eleanor.” Malia says matter-of-factly. Harry had forgotten about Eleanor for a few days too, and he’s not happy about the reminder. He presses his mouth into a thin line. “We are going to fly Eleanor out here to Texas to visit you for a few days, Louis. She’ll be coming in on Tuesday, and we’ve set up a couple dates for you. She should be in touch.” 

Malia turns and leaves then, leaving a shell-shocked Harry and Louis in her wake. Harry feels his mouth drop open, and he turns to look at Louis with raised eyebrows, but to his dismay, Louis doesn’t look half as disappointed as Harry feels.

“Well, that’s not half as bad as what I was expecting. It’s actually kind of exciting to get to see Eleanor early, thanks Hazza!” Louis says, and ruffles Harry’s hair. 

Harry suddenly feels a lump in his throat. He doesn’t dare cry in front of Louis though, that would be humiliating. Louis will never feel the same way about him, and he needs to get over it. 

“Yeah, no problem.” He jokes weakly. He sees Louis frown slightly at his lack of enthusiasm, but luckily the van arrives just then. “Let’s go, I want to take a nap before the show tonight.” 

~~~~~

Harry walks out onto the balcony into the grey summer air a few days later and wipes the tears off of his cheeks. He hopes that Louis and Eleanor didn’t notice that he was crying when he left the room. He just can’t seem to hold it together these days, every little thing is making him sad. He just hates sharing his best friend. 

The wind blows his curls around his head, and Harry lifts his head up to take a deep breath of the crisp air. It’s surprisingly cool outside, considering that it’s July, but Harry is glad for the alertness that the temperature brings. 

“Get it together, Styles. He’s never going to love you the way you love him.” He whispers to himself and feels his mouth turn down at the corners. 

“Harry?” He hears Louis ask from behind him a few minutes later. He must have decided to come check on him. “Are you okay?” 

“What are you doing out here?” Eleanor asks then, and Harry feels himself tense automatically at the sound of her voice.

He sighs before turning around to face the couple, and he winces internally when he sees their hands clasped together. “I just wanted some fresh air. The hotel rooms get a little stifling after a while.” 

“Oh yeah, I know that feeling.” Eleanor says. “See, he’s okay, Lou. Let’s go back inside and finish the movie.” 

Harry watches Louis nod and feels a twinge of jealousy when he lets her pull him in by his hand. Harry wants that closeness and trust with someone, but he’s probably never going to get it. He sighs once he hears the couple slide the glass door shut behind them again. 

“Stop moping.” He tells himself and then vows to be less bitter for the rest of Eleanor’s visit. It’s only a few more days after all. 

~~~~

They’re on their next tour, on the bus between Nevada and Illinois, or something. Harry’s a little shaky on his geography of America. To be fair, he never finished school. He slept poorly last night, he was too distracted by the shaking of the bus to really settle down. He yawns and pulls himself to standing and finds that Louis and Liam are already out of their bunks. He heads towards the kitchen but stops when he hears voices. He doesn’t particularly want to make conversation right now, so he just flops down on the couch and shuts his eyes again. 

“I just miss sex, you know?” He hears Liam complain. His stomach tenses then, and he’s too anxious to doze off. He hates hearing the boys talk about sex. He thought that they had stopped entirely, but they must have just stopped doing it around him. 

“What do you mean?” Louis asks, and it sounds like his mouth is full of food. Probably his prized Captain Crunch. 

“Like, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Danielle. It’s so hard to go without. A hand can’t really cut it.” Liam whines again, but Louis is silent except for muffled chewing noises. “How do you do it?” 

“How do I what?” Louis asks after a moment. 

“Go without for so long. I’m tempted by every girl I see.” Liam says earnestly, and Harry can’t believe that Liam even has to ask this. 

“I don’t really have that problem.” Louis replies, through what sounds like another bite of Captain Crunch. 

“How?” Liam asks. Harry can picture Liam’s adorably confused face, and he smiles weakly to himself. 

“I don’t know, Liam.” Louis sounds exasperated now. “I could probably go without sex forever if I needed to. It’s just not that important to me.” 

“But don’t you, like… get really horny?” Liam whispers, and Harry bets that he’s blushing. 

“Yeah, but like, it’s not that hard to deal with. I like sex, definitely. I like it a lot. But like, I can live without it.” Louis sounds tired.

“Wow.” Liam replies, and he sounds really awed. Harry rolls his eyes. They fall silent after that, and Harry sits for a while thinking about what he heard. If Louis doesn’t need sex, then there’s a chance… Harry cuts himself off. It’s so hard to stop himself from hoping, but Louis is in a relationship with a lovely, beautiful, allosexual girl, and Harry doesn’t have a chance even if Louis doesn’t need sex. 

Harry can’t stop the bubble of hope from growing in his chest though. His crush on Louis is probably going to change from being passive to something way more difficult to handle now, and he can already feel his stomach tingle with butterflies just thinking about the next time he gets to cuddle Louis. He decides to go into the kitchen then, to make himself a cup of tea. 

He makes a show of yawning when he walks in. “Good morning.” He says as he turns the battery-powered kettle on to boil. 

“Morning, Harry.” Louis says. When Harry glances over at his best friend, he feels the butterflies erupt again at the smile Louis gives him. Liam nods at him, gaze locked on his phone. 

Once his tea is finished, Harry slides onto the bench next to Louis and rests his head on his best friend’s shoulder. Something just feels so right about sitting there, and he smiles to himself as he sips his tea. Louis understands him and will always love him unconditionally, even if it’s not the way Harry wants Louis to love him.

~~~~

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks from where his head is resting on Harry’s shoulder. They’re lying in Harry’s bed in a hotel in Australia. The TV is playing an Australian cooking show in the background, but neither of them are really paying attention, more focused on cuddling each other. 

“How do you even know something is wrong?” Harry asks, bewildered. 

“You just feel more off than you did a few minutes ago.” Louis replies, and Harry can feel him shrug. 

“I don’t know, I just. I feel so isolated, you know? No one knows about me, and I just feel so alone sometimes because of it. I’ve never known anyone else who is asexual, and it feels so lonely sometimes.” Harry explains slowly.

Louis is silent for a couple minutes, but Harry knows that he is just thinking about how best to respond. He smiles softly, grateful for his best friend who cares so much about him.

“You know I’ll always be here for you, right?” Louis says, pulling away to sit up. He looks at Harry earnestly, and Harry feels his mouth stretch into a grin as he nods at his friend. Louis smirks back, and Harry knows Louis is about to do something mischievous before he even does it. Louis pokes Harry in the side with his feet, and Harry shrieks. 

“Stop tickling me with your feet!” He yells.

“Absolutely not!” Louis shouts back and continues to tickle Harry’s sides with his toes until Harry is gasping for breath with laughter. 

Once they’ve calmed down a bit, Louis lies back down with his head resting on Harry’s chest again. Harry smiles to himself and readjusts his curls. 

“You know, I’m glad you’re here for me, but do you think your smelly feet could be somewhere else for me?” He says, grinning at his joke. He smiles even wider when he hears Louis’s bark of laughter. 

“That was terrible.” Louis complains, but Harry can hear the smile in his voice. 

~~~~~

“We need you to go on a date with Taylor Swift.” Sara announces, like she didn’t just shatter Harry’s whole world. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Harry asks, confident that he misheard her. 

“We’ve set up a date for you with Taylor Swift. I’m assuming you know who she is?” Sara asks, and she seems concerned for a moment. Harry wasn’t even sure she had thoughts of her own. 

“I know who she is. Why would I go on a date with her?” Harry is too numb to even feel angry right now. She sprang this on him in a solo meeting, so he doesn’t even have his boys to back him up. 

“Because we need to quench these rumours about you and Louis once and for all. We need to push the womanizer image of you. We’ve also sent out rumours to several papers about you hooking up with Gigi Hadid.” 

Harry feels nauseous. He can’t believe this is happening to him. Why does he have to be the one with all of the sex rumours? He’s so repulsed by the idea he can’t look away from his hands in his lap. He can’t bring himself to say anything to Sara. 

“The date is in December, we’ve sent you the details.” Sara says, and he thinks he hears a hint of sympathy in her voice, but he doesn’t care. She’s making him do this awful, awful thing that he doesn’t want to do at all, and he won’t ever forgive her. Embarrassingly, he feels himself tear up and start to cry silently. 

“You can go now.”

Harry stands abruptly as soon as he’s given permission, and he wipes the tears off of his face without making eye contact before he walks out. 

~~~~~

“Let’s go get new tattoos!” Louis proposes excitedly, slamming the door to Harry’s green room open. 

“When?” Harry asks, looking up from his journal where he was writing a new song that is absolutely not about Louis. (It is.)

“This afternoon! I found this awesome artist, we should get matching fish or something.” Louis flops down on the leather couch across from Harry, and Harry feels a twinge of guilt.

“I can’t.” He says, looking back down at his journal. He starts to doodle a flower, knowing that he’s about to be pestered with uncomfortable questions. 

“What? Why not?” Louis sounds offended. Harry presses his pen more heavily into the paper. 

“I have a date with Taylor Swift.”

“You- What?” Louis sounds genuinely bewildered, and Harry would laugh if he weren’t struggling to stop himself from crying. He shrugs. “Did management put you up to this?” There’s a fire in Louis’s voice now, like he wants to murder everyone who is responsible for this. Harry nods silently and shuts his journal when he feels tears prick at his eyes again. 

“Oh, Harry.” Louis whispers, and Harry’s tears spill over when he hears the concern in his best friend’s voice. Louis comes over to join him on the other couch and wraps his arms around Harry in a tight hug. “You’re going to be okay.” 

Harry nods through his tears. “I know. It’s just so hard. I can’t be who they want me to be. I can’t be who anyone wants me to be.” 

Louis squeezes him tighter. “You’re exactly who I want you to be. I love you no matter what.” 

~~~~~

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!” The crowd chants, and Harry feels nerves erupt in his stomach as he leans in to kiss Taylor. He knows that there are at least ten cameras on them right now, and he’s not happy about it. Taylor’s mouth is wet and slimy. She’s so tall and bony, and Harry does not want to be touching her at all, let alone kissing her. 

He hates everything about this. He hates that everyone is going to assume that they have sex after this. He hates that everyone thinks they know about his sex life, and he especially hates that he is here in New York instead of at Louis’s annual New Year’s party.

He pulls away quickly and tries to smile at Taylor, but he’s sure she can see through to his sick feeling underneath. Luckily, this is their last date together, and he’s free to go home, but he can’t help but resent her for stopping him from being with Louis. 

~~~~~

They’re in Japan, learning how to operate their personal robots when Louis gets a call and excuses himself to leave. The instructor continues to tell them how to program the robots to clean, but Harry can’t make himself focus. What was so important that Louis had to leave?

Louis doesn’t come back for half an hour or even after a couple hours. Harry is so distracted that his robot ends up falling down a flight of stairs and losing its head. 

“What is wrong with you?” Niall demands. “Respect the robots, they’re going to rule the world someday.” 

“They already tried that in Iron Man.” Zayn reminds them from where he’s precisely adjusting his robot’s controls. 

“But those robots were all completely controlled by humans.” Liam puts in. 

“Mmm. That’s true.” Zayn admits and goes back to focusing on his robot. 

“Seriously though, can I have your robot?” Niall asks Harry, holding up the headless hunk of metal. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry shrugs. “I’m not feeling so great, I’m going to go back to the hotel and take a quick nap before the show tonight.”

“Good idea. We really have to sound good, since they’re so silent during the concerts here.” Liam says appreciatively. 

“I’ll see you guys later.” Harry waves goodbye and then gets in a van to go back to the hotel. 

He scrolls through twitter during the car ride back to the hotel and thanks the driver when they arrive in the back so Harry can get into the hotel undetected. He heads up to his room but stops when he hears noises coming from inside. 

He should probably call security or something, but he really just wants to take a nap so he opens his door anyways. He finds Louis curled up in Harry’s bed, and it sounds like he’s sniffling. 

“Louis?” He asks. He only gets what sounds like a sob in response, and he rushes forward to climb on the bed next to Louis. 

Louis is curled up around a pillow, his phone clutched tightly in one of his hands. There are tear tracks covering his cheeks and a giant wet patch on the white pillow he’s lying on. His eyes are shut tight, and his body is shaking with sobs. 

Harry wraps himself around Louis, trying to make as much contact as possible. He read somewhere that human contact releases endorphins, so he hopes this works to calm Louis down slightly. They lie there wrapped up together for a few minutes until Louis is shaking less. 

“What happened?” Harry asks carefully, squeezing Louis to communicate that he doesn’t need to answer right away. 

Louis takes in a deep shuddering breath. “She dumped me. Eleanor dumped me.” He says and then starts crying again.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Lou.” Harry hugs his best friend tighter. 

“I didn’t even love her, though, I don’t know why I’m so sad.” Louis mumbles. Harry feels his heart stop at Louis’s words. “I just hate endings, and like, was I not good enough for her?” 

“If she thought you weren’t good enough for her, then she needs to get her head checked.” Harry tries to control his reeling thoughts. Louis wasn’t in love with Eleanor? 

“Harry, I think. I think she dumped me because she wanted to have sex more often, and I’m just not there.” Louis sounds so miserable, and Harry feels his own heart break. 

“Louis, you are the best person I have ever met. You deserve someone who loves and appreciates every single thing you can give them, and especially the things you can’t give them.” 

Louis takes in another shaky breath and cuddles farther back into Harry’s arms. “Thank you, Harry.” 

“Always.” Harry replies and then continues to cuddle Louis until showtime. 

~~~~~

“So.” Louis announces his presence and plops down on the couch in his flat next to Harry. 

“Yes?” Harry replies, raising his eyebrows. He’s trying to learn how to knit, so he can make himself a scarf in the asexual colors. He’s tried to learn how to knit before, but he doesn’t usually have the patience. 

“I’ve been thinking about like, you.” Louis announces. Harry frowns down at his knitting needles. What is Louis talking about?

“What about me?” Harry asks, still focusing on working his knitting needles into the right patterns. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” Louis announces it matter-of-factly, like he didn’t just say something earth-shattering. 

Harry feels his stomach erupt into butterflies of hope. He puts down his knitting needles and turns to stare at Louis. He can’t wrap his head around what Louis just said. Did he even hear him right? “What?” Is all that he can think to say.

“I just, I love you. I love your smile and the way you make me smile, and I love when you are happy and I just want to spend my time making you happy.” Louis finally makes eye contact with Harry, and Harry can see the determination in his eyes.

“What, you’re serious?” Harry asks, and he can’t even bring himself to hope. “What about like, you know. My thing.” He glances down at the scarf he’s knitting in his lap. How can Louis want to be with him anyways? 

“Harry, I love everything about you, especially that. I don’t need that in a relationship, I just need someone who I know will love and support and trust me. That’s what I want from you.” Louis finishes, and he smiles encouragingly at Harry. 

Harry is still too stunned to say anything else. He can’t process that this is happening. He’s been dreaming about this for years, but he never thought that Louis would want him back. 

“What do you think?” Louis asks finally. “Do you want to give it a shot? Or do you want to tell me to fuck off?” 

“I’ve been in love with you for five years.” Harry finally blurts out. Louis raises his eyebrows. 

“Really?” Louis sounds as bewildered as Harry feels. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I didn’t think you would want to be with someone like me.” Harry shrugs, and absently picks up his needles and starts to knit again.

“Hmm.” Louis frowns at Harry’s words. “Well, does that mean you want to be with me now, then?” 

“Yeah. I, uh. I guess I do.” Harry nods, and he starts to break out into a smile. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He puts down his knitting again to look at his best friend, who is smiling like he’s afraid he’s dreaming, and Harry feels his heart clench. 

“Me neither.” Louis smiles so widely that his eyes scrunch up, and Harry can’t help but smile back. Louis reaches over to grab Harry’s hand and intertwines their fingers. 

Harry smiles down at their hands. “Just promise me I won’t ever lose you.” He says, looking Louis directly in the eye, so he knows how serious he is. “If you don’t want to date me anymore, promise me we will always be friends.” 

“Always.” Louis announces, and everything feels right. 

~~~~~


End file.
